do you believe in tarot? i do.

Card 1 (Judgement) : How you feel about yourself now »

You feel this is an end to an era or at least a certain phase of your life - you are taking stock and looking where you want to go from here. This ending is not one for regret but for rejoicing. Soon you will enjoy the rewards for your past efforts. As with any period of endings, many opportunities will present themselves and the choice that you make will have far reaching implications that could change your life dramatically. Any legal issues should be ruled in your favour.

Card 2 (Justice) : What you most want at this moment »

The cards suggest that what you most want at this time is for a fair and right outcome whether it concerns relationships or business affairs. You feel that you are in the right and that any decision or agreement to be made should be in your favour.

Card 3 (Temperance) : Your fears »

You are afraid that this period of harmony in your relationship or life in general is not going to last. Perhaps you are afraid a rival is going to cause conflict or already is and threatens to upset the peace and tranquillity you are enjoying. Any quarrels will be short lived so just try and enjoy the moment for what it is. If life is not joyful and tranquil at the moment you may fear that it never will be, take heart and be patient and life will soon have a sense of normality again.

Card 4 (The Tower) : What is going for you »

Sometimes sudden disruptive change is inevitable, and as painful as it may seem, we come through it a stronger and better person. No matter how disruptive things are at the moment, or if you feel life is really against you, re-evaluate and move on - often a new direction can bring new opportunities you never dreamed of. If you have been planning to move home you will be experiencing setbacks.

Card 5 (The Sun) : What is going against you »

You may experience a few delays on your quest for success and achievement but don't worry, you'll get there in a blaze of glory. Success may go to your head a little so a little modesty wouldn't go amiss. Other than a few minor delays, look forward to a period of joy and happiness. If you are experiencing problems with conceiving a baby, The Sun often heralds good news around children and a much wanted pregnancy or birth of a longed-for baby.

Card 6 (The Hierophant) : Outcome »

Help is at hand. If you want wise counsel and moral guidance put your trust in someone you have a lot of respect for. Don't allow others to influence you too much with what they want you to conform to, be true to yourself. When considering your options go with tried and tested traditional values, rather than the unconventional novel approach. For example marriage is more likely to be your desire than a living together situation.

now playing : orianthi - according to you

ashes

it was just another day: a day lost in mysteries,
unanswered questions, some fear and mist.
it was just another day but those words burnt
me to ashes, i felt life twisting my bruised mind

i felt the heat searing my hands and shy eyes.
there was no shelter and there was no shield.
shadows opened the dark, swallowed songs.
what was half hidden was suddenly revealed.

i was split up between the present and the past.
old deep memories of what can't be ever found
engulfed me again, drowning me in a time of bliss.
and what remained me of you, i buried in your ground.


now playing : sophie ellis bexter - bittersweet

love cancerous

love cripples the heart.
emotions fall apart,
as your voice calms me.
this truth you'll never see.

i shake inside in terror,
as my path to you becomes narrow.
love is meaningless apart;
i'll die seeing you depart.

you know none of this though,
for the feelings i've never showed,
nor will i ever tell you
because i've never seen anything true.

so love dies today.
i fade into the shade.
you go back to your home,
leaving me with these thoughts to roam.

i dont want to kiss anyone. but you, i fucking love you

" give me all my love and when i shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars. he will make the face of heaven so fine that all the world will be in love with the night and pay no worship to the garish sun "


listening to : cut - plumb

got me walking to the moon

I LIKE :

- t-shirts and dress
- midnight drive
- midnight calls
- vampires
- movies
- shoes
- internet
- free stuff, free samples, free free free
- sunset
- concert
- metal ( esp gothic metal )
- family and friends
- dark things
- going to places
- comeback home reeeaaaalllly late
- rain
- tears
- being missed
- dogs
- good lyrics
- wake up late



I HATE :

- smoke
- snail
- cowok jual mahal dan suka pamer (sombong)
- jazz and blues
- diburu buru
- di atur atur
- school
- ingkar janji
- early wake up
- day time
- kecoa terbang minta diperhatiin
- lupa bawa sesuatu dan sadar pas jalan udah lumayan jauh
- gak punya duit
- gak punya pulsa
- menunggu
- sendiri (kadang2)
- clubbing
- sunlight and other brightness
- people who doesn't take me seriously
- ada yang mau cerita trus bilang "gak jadi"
- banyak nyamuk dikamar
- romantic peeps
- summer
- orang sok alim tapi dalemnya bejat
- orang genit & sok eksis

listening to : suicide silence - no pity for a coward

a whole lot of nothing

go away bad thoughts. you stress me out. you make me restless. you make me worry about my future. you make me wonder what is going to happen within the next few years. i don’t want us to go through another pessimist way like i did a while ago. it would be awful. i prefer my life that happen few years ago. things need to go back to normal. so please, thoughts, pack up your stuff and leave. you can perhaps go on Mars. i heard there’s life up there, but i don’t believe it for much, so i doubt you will be bothering anyone. heard me? good good.

my pessimist thing is seriously stressing me out more and more everyday. what can i do? i want them to get the hell out from me. oh yea, i haven't tell you what is going on today. something really broke my heart. twice. you don't have to know why and yet i still don't know what to do. i'm trying not too fucked up about it. perhaps i must try become more religious and pray every night. wish me luck :P

and i just find a song that sound pretty cool. i like the lyrics. the lyrics is so well-written. so this song is called ' by your side ' performed by tenth avenue north. check this out!

why are you striving these days
why are you trying to earn grace
why are you crying
let me lift up your face
just don't turn away

why are you looking for love
why are you still searching as if I'm not good enough
to where will you go child
tell me where will you run
to where will you run

and i'll be by your side
wherever you fall
in the dead of night
whenever you call
and please don't fight
these hands that are holding you
my hands are holding you

look at these hands and my side
they swallowed the grave on that night
when I drank the world's sin
so i could carry you in
and give you life
i want to give you life


cause i, i love you
i want you to know
that i, i love you
i'll never let you go


you know i could played this song for a hundred times (oke ini agak lebay) but seriously i really love this song and i think i'm gonna dying if someday there's a guy came up to me and sing me this song. awwwwh so schveeeet <3 anyway gua capek pake inggris melulu daritadi. sekarang udah malem dan gua udah ngantuk sih daritadi tapi hastrat buat bikin blog udah menggebu gebu daritadi jadi yaudah yak gua mau bercinta dulu sama guling dan bantal gua lol. lights off!

listening to : nightwish - beauty of the beast

there are no words for this

never say i love you
if you don't really care

never talk of feelings
if they aren't really there

never hold my hand
if you mean to break my heart

never say forever
if you ever plan to leave

never look into my eyes
if you telling me a lie

never say hello
if you mean to say goodbye

never say i'm the one
if you dream another

never lock up my heart
if you don't really have the key


i had closed the door upon my heart
and wouldn't let anyone in
i had trusted and loved
but its only hurt me
and that would never be happen again

i had locked the door upon my heart
and tossed the key
i wouldn't let anyone in
as hard and as far as i could
love would never enter my life again
my heart was closed for good ....



in the brightness of sun
show me that you are the one
give me wings so i can fly
enter my heart
break down the wall
i've been prisoner, can't you see?
break my chains
and set me free
release my soul held deep within
i'm ready now
let the love begin ......

listening to : owl city - if my heart was a house

why sun and moon appear in different time?

and this how it begins .......



a long time ago in a great big sky there was a big mushy cloud. inside the big mushy cloud there lived a lovely couple Mr.sun and Lady moon. they were such a great couple. they never fought with each other. they lived happily, always full of smile and laughter together.

but one day Mr.sun and Lady moon had a great fight.


" what are you doing here, moon?! " asked Mr.sun

" i was looking for you my dear... why are you walking alone? " said Lady moon

" yeah i don't want to see you anymore!! " he shouted

" but why?? " asked Lady moon

" you think i don't know?? i saw you kissing with mars!! " answered Mr.sun

" you saw what? uh oh no we were not kissing! " answered Lady moon

" so you think i'm blind?! " he said

" no my love no. it wasn't like what you think, it was just a friend kiss not a french kiss " said Lady moon

" oh moon! you're such a smartass liar, you don't even know what french kiss is and you don't even have an ass! just go away and leave me alone " said Mr.sun

" but it was an accident, really! i have no feeling at all for Mars, he's Venus boyfriend " said Lady moon

" so? LIAR!! just leave me alone. GO AWAY! " asked Mr.sun

" please calm down sun, please reduce the fire in you. you are burning with jealousy. you could hurt our friend, the earth. your heat will reduce earth's shield " begged Lady moon

" who cares??! why should i bother about others while my feelings is really hurt! you broke my heart moon, you broke it " said Mr.sun

" i'm sorry, i'm so so sorry. i didn't mean to hurt your feeling sun " said Lady moon

" you said you love me, but why did you do that?! " said Mr.sun

" i don't know the situation, i was at loss and i'm so sorry for that sun please forgive me " said Lady Moon

" you think by saying sorry would fix all the damage you've done?? it's not that simple lady moonron. you've lied and i can't believe you anymore " said Mr.sun

" but but i was going to tell you i just need to find the right time even if i tell you, you'll be very mad " said Lady moon

" OF COURSE I WILL BE MAR ARRGH you fickle bitch! you should just kiss another boy like uranus or pluto if you want! no one gonna stop you " said Mr.sun at the top of his anger.



Lady moon can't stand it so she ran away, far far away from Mr.sun



that's why we can only see Mr.sun in the day time and Lady Moon in the night with her twinkling tears " the stars ". Sometimes Lady moon is still there when the morning comes. She wants to see Mr.sun, even just behind the clouds.



so how about the eclipse?


actually, Lady moon and Mr.sun are actually still love each other so much. sometimes it really hurts realizing how they miss each other.

so when they could not bear the feeling of wanting to meet, they would come across each other briefly and would cause darkness to the earth.

it's called total eclipse of the heart!

listening to : nelly furtado - all good things

you're wearing damage. your mind is restless

- what are you exited about ?
nothing

- what are you not exiting about ?
school

- what is your favorite breed of dog ?
samoyed and pekingese

- do you wear a belt with every pair of jeans ?
no

- who was the last person you talked last night before bed ?
my cousin

- do you have both loud side or quite side ?
quite side

- are you a stressed out person ?
yap

- who is the last person you high-fived ?
my bro

- do you have many wounds or bruises ?
yes a lot

- from what ?
bad luck

- why did your last cry ?
family drama

- was yesterday better than today?
no yesterday is the worst

- where did you go in a car last ?
ui

- are your parents age in over 40 ?
yes

- does the last person who put their arm around you mean anything to you?
no one ever put their arm on me

- do you miss your past ?
no the past is killed

- were you single in your last birthday ?
i always single in my birthday

- does anyone call you babe or baby ?
no i don't like it

- has anyone ever took your own clothes off you before ?
nope

- what would you do if you found out the person you love was in a relationsip ?
try not too fucked with it

- do you think you're wasting your time on the person you like
yeah probably

- what do you get complimented on the most ?
my look

- do you have a reason to smile now ?
no i feel like shit now

- how are your feeling ?
restless

- what is your favorite things to shop for ?
CD's and clothes

- would you rather own a snake or rabbit ?
none of them. there are all annoying

- is there someone you wanna kiss right now ?
nope

- did you see a boy that made you smile today ?
no

- what is today's date ?
110410

- are you ready to get out of this town ?
no

- how important is trust ?
pretty much very important

- something you do a lot ?
sleep

- when was the last time you had butterflies ?
a week ago

- has anyone said they love you in the last week ?
nooooo

- have you ever like someone who treat you like a crap ?
no

- are they any previous relationship you wish could have lasted longer?
noooooo

- have you ever thrown your phone in anger ?
almost

- are you someone who is an ass because you're so honest ?
no

- when was the last time you wanted to punch someone in the face ?
uhm friday

- is there someone you want out of your life for good ?
mhm a lotttttt

- do you think you can love someone without trusting them?
no

listening to : dr.acula - shocker on shock street

oh my heart, i want you to be strong

HEY ALL! welcoming my first blog here :} actually i don't like writing blog but finally after see many people have their own blog, i got tempted lol so i decided to have one and it seems to be fun.


hari ini udah hari minggu yang cerah hahaha dan gua benci itu. kenapa? karena minggu besoknya senin. pelajaran pertama dikelas itu math. ya math. tega banget kan yang bikinin jadwal masa iya hari senin dan jam pertama udah dicekokin pelajaran kayak gitu? setidaknya bisa pelajaran yang mending lah ya kayak civic atau bahasa. loh jadi marah marah hahhaa sorry ya kalo sama math gua kebawa emosi. oh iya alasan kedua kenapa gua benci hari ini itu selain karna besok senin juga karna panas. terus mataharinya terang pula. gua sangat benci dengan matahari dan segala macam cahaya. gau juga gatau kenapa tapi hati gua lebih sendu (tai amat sendu) kalo cuaca lagi mendung lah atau malem malem (oke ga penting)


hari minggu berati waktunya jalan jalan hehehe :P hari ini enaknya kemana ya? udah lama banget masalahnya gua kagak jalan. pengennya sih ngajak kakak gua ke gi atau sency tapi gatau deh dia mau apa gak hehe. sekarang gua mau siap siap dulu mau jemput sepupu gua yang lagi tes di ui mudah mudahan aja dia masuk. kan bisa ada traktiran wkwkwk. byeeeeeee

listening to : 30 seconds to mars - bad romance (live cover)